After writing my coming out post it was my intention to follow it up a week or two later so people would know how it all went. And suddenly a month three months more than three months have passed! Well, it has been said, time flies when you’re having fun!
So the first thing to say is, it went great! ‘It’ here referring to coming out, being accepted by friends, family, co-workers and people in general. It has been a time of firsts. Everything I did was ‘the first time I’ve done this, dressed this way’.
Whilst my experience has been hugely positive I do want to mention the negative, and to get it out of the way here at the start rather than end on it. I have so far this year experienced three transphobic hate incidents. These have been relatively minor verbal abuse (one was a bit touchy). However, this is virtually insignificant compared to the abuse I believed I’d receive (and I’m sure would have done) during the 80s and 90s. These won’t be the last, maybe not even the last this year. However whilst it is unpleasant at the time, knowing I can rise above it, that it doesn’t get me down, is what I’ve taken from the experience. From that perspective, I’m pleased to have experienced hate incidents – I now know what to expect and to not really worry.
But with that out of the way, here are a few of the many positive events and ‘firsts’ from the last few months.
First day in the office
I felt that coming out at work had gone really well. I got really positive feedback from the face to face discussions and the emails I sent to people I work with in other parts of the company (I’ve saved all the replies as they were all so nice!). However, that was 3pm on Friday – on Monday I’d be walking into the office for the ‘first time’. Was I nervous? A bit!
I didn’t need to be. The first thing I noticed was my name seemed to be missing from the sign in sheet. I chanced a look under ‘K’ and sure enough, it had already been updated. Likewise when I logged onto my computer and it greeted me with ‘Welcome Kate’ I realised my profile had also already been changed. These were really nice touches and made me feel really accepted.
I chat to the same people (and even have a few new things to talk about with some of them!). The transition went so well, it almost seems like everyone has always known me as Kate!
First day on the school run
If I was nervous about work, I was even more nervous about taking William to school the following day. The difference here being that with work, I’d told everyone in advance whereas at school, only the teachers and some other parents that are friends knew. No doubt it was a bit of a surprise for some! I’m really pleased this has gone well too and I now chat to people in the playground I didn’t really know before.
Random acts of kindness
Not wanting to sound big headed of course, but I’ve had some lovely compliments and positive comments from strangers. One that stands out was in a motorway services where a lady came over to me to say “I saw you when you came in and just wanted to come over and say you look great and so confident and happy. I love your style…”. Well, that was the gist of it anyway as it was a while ago, but we had a lovely conversation!
Dressing up (and down!)
Before coming out I used to buy clothes and then they would spend most of their time packed away out of sight. Now I get to buy things and know people will see me wearing them. It’s fun! I’ve had great fun finding my style, and adapting it with the arrival of Autumn. I used to only buy ‘dressy’ clothes but now I buy casual and practical clothes and at first that was a challenge (will I still look feminine if I’m not wearing heels and a sparkly dress??). I’ll no doubt have some fashion disasters but so far I’ve had really nice feedback.
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(Yes I confess this section was just so I could insert pictures of me posing!)
More?
There is so much to say but I’ll save some of the other topics for separate posts. Otherwise it will be another three months before I write again! Until next time! Kate x