Diversity and Tech

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Yesterday I was lucky to have the opportunity to attend the Microsoft Ignite, London conference.  Like previous Microsoft conferences it followed the usual format of sessions organised into tracks covering topics from web apps and databases to O365, Teams and SharePoint. 

However, what really stood out for me was Microsoft’s embracing of diversity.  At last year’s event (MS Tech Summit) they had a single 30 minute talk in the open theatre area after all the sessions had ended.  This year there was an entire Diversity in Tech track as well as a Diversity in Tech stand in the main hall where you could meet, chat, learn and make new connections.  The track had six one hour sessions and a couple of 15 / 30 minute sessions spread over both days and taking part in the main conference rooms alongside the other tracks.  It shows massive growth and visibility in this area in just a year.

This time two years ago I was weighing up my fairly substantial life decision.  A big factor was how it would affect my career: would it have a negative effect?  The answer from Microsoft is a resounding ‘no’ !

I wanted to share this for anyone else that might find it helpful to know or, for example, may have friends and family looking to you for advice.  My experience at work on the LGBT aspect of diversity has been hugely positive and with Microsoft promoting diversity front and centre I am confident in an inclusive tech industry.

Running Cambridge for CRCC

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I’ve been talking about running a half marathon for a while and some of the people I run with know I’d set my sights on the Cambridge Half.  Unfortunately, it’s a popular event and I didn’t get a place.  Disappointed, and with my heart set on Cambridge specifically, I weighed the choice between doing a different half marathon or waiting a whole year to try again.

I specifically did not consider applying for a charity place.  To run it for a charity seemed like asking all my friends and family to fund me to do something I wanted to do anyway.

But a week later I realised it really was the Cambridge Half Marathon that I wanted to run: it has a great atmosphere, is local, is at a time of year when I’ll (hopefully!) be half marathon ready and lots of my friends are running it.  I had a look at the charity pages and came up with an idea.  I don’t give all that much money to charity – a few standing orders and the occasional donation to other peoples fund raising events.  I figure I probably owe a bit in back pay to charitable causes.  What if I apply for a charity place but cover the minimum donation myself?  I get to run it with a clear conscience: win-win!

Cambridge Rape Crisis Centre

So why did I choose CRCC?  Straight away I thought I’d scroll on past the big headline charity.  Obviously not because it’s any less deserving, but because it’s already very well supported.  CRCC stood out.  It’s a small charity local to Cambridge and I also felt that perhaps there would be a stigma that some people would feel by association and so may attract fewer runners choosing a charity to support.  When Katherine said exactly the same thing, my decision was pretty much made.

However, I wanted to find out a bit more about the charity although first let me mention a little piece of legislation called the Equality Act 2010.  This act is like my best friend: it may not be perfect but it looks after me.  Thanks to EA2010 I can’t be turned away at a shop or restaurant or not considered when applying for a job due to being transgender (in legal terms, I have the protected characteristic of Gender Re-assignment).  In fact, I can’t be discriminated against in any* way. 

Why the asterisk?  There is an exclusion to allow single-sex services to deny service to transgender people under specific, limited conditions and the examples cited are rape crisis centres and women’s refuges.  I was elated when I explored the CRCC website and found they were entirely trans-inclusive.  In fact, the language they use goes beyond just being inclusive to positively embrace transgender people:

Our helpline is available for (self-defining) women and girls, including those with complex gender identities which include ‘woman’, and those who experience oppression as women. Self-definition is at the sole discretion of the individual in question.

I signed up immediately.

So why am I mentioning this?

If I’m planning on covering the minimum donation, why am I mentioning this?  Wasn’t the point to be able to run with a clear conscience?  CRCC is providing an immensely important service for those that need it.  A world in which we didn’t need CRCC would be the ideal but until then they need funds to continue.  How would my conscience be clear if I ran for them and didn’t try to raise as much as possible?

So whilst there is absolutely no pressure to feel you need to support me or CRCC, if you can spare a few pounds then it would be immensely welcomed.  I’ve set up a My Donate page and set a goal a bit above the minimum amount.  Can we reach it?  Yes we can!

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/katehodge

Out and about

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After writing my coming out post it was my intention to follow it up a week or two later so people would know how it all went.  And suddenly a month three months more than three months have passed!  Well, it has been said, time flies when you’re having fun!

So the first thing to say is, it went great!  ‘It’ here referring to coming out, being accepted by friends, family, co-workers and people in general.  It has been a time of firsts.  Everything I did was ‘the first time I’ve done this, dressed this way’.

Whilst my experience has been hugely positive I do want to mention the negative, and to get it out of the way here at the start rather than end on it.  I have so far this year experienced three transphobic hate incidents.  These have been relatively minor verbal abuse (one was a bit touchy).  However, this is virtually insignificant compared to the abuse I believed I’d receive (and I’m sure would have done) during the 80s and 90s.  These won’t be the last, maybe not even the last this year.  However whilst it is unpleasant at the time, knowing I can rise above it, that it doesn’t get me down, is what I’ve taken from the experience.  From that perspective, I’m pleased to have experienced hate incidents – I now know what to expect and to not really worry.

But with that out of the way, here are a few of the many positive events and ‘firsts’ from the last few months.

 

First day in the office

I felt that coming out at work had gone really well.  I got really positive feedback from the face to face discussions and the emails I sent to people I work with in other parts of the company (I’ve saved all the replies as they were all so nice!).  However, that was 3pm on Friday – on Monday I’d be walking into the office for the ‘first time’.  Was I nervous?  A bit!

I didn’t need to be.  The first thing I noticed was my name seemed to be missing from the sign in sheet.  I chanced a look under ‘K’ and sure enough, it had already been updated.  Likewise when I logged onto my computer and it greeted me with ‘Welcome Kate’ I realised my profile had also already been changed.  These were really nice touches and made me feel really accepted.

I chat to the same people (and even have a few new things to talk about with some of them!).  The transition went so well, it almost seems like everyone has always known me as Kate!

 

First day on the school run

If I was nervous about work, I was even more nervous about taking William to school the following day.  The difference here being that with work, I’d told everyone in advance whereas at school, only the teachers and some other parents that are friends knew.  No doubt it was a bit of a surprise for some!  I’m really pleased this has gone well too and I now chat to people in the playground I didn’t really know before.

 

Random acts of kindness

Not wanting to sound big headed of course, but I’ve had some lovely compliments and positive comments from strangers.  One that stands out was in a motorway services where a lady came over to me to say “I saw you when you came in and just wanted to come over and say you look great and so confident and happy.  I love your style…”.  Well, that was the gist of it anyway as it was a while ago, but we had a lovely conversation!

 

Dressing up (and down!)

Before coming out I used to buy clothes and then they would spend most of their time packed away out of sight.  Now I get to buy things and know people will see me wearing them.  It’s fun!  I’ve had great fun finding my style, and adapting it with the arrival of Autumn.  I used to only buy ‘dressy’ clothes but now I buy casual and practical clothes and at first that was a challenge (will I still look feminine if I’m not wearing heels and a sparkly dress??).  I’ll no doubt have some fashion disasters but so far I’ve had really nice feedback.

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(Yes I confess this section was just so I could insert pictures of me posing!)

 

More?

There is so much to say but I’ll save some of the other topics for separate posts.  Otherwise it will be another three months before I write again!  Until next time!  Kate x

Coming Out Announcement

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Today I posted this on Facebook – I think that makes it official!  I’m including it here for posterity.

ANOUNCEMENT

Hi Everyone!  I hope you are sitting comfortably as I have something to say and I admit, it’s a bit unusual.  Firstly though, thank you so much to those I’ve already told for being so positive and supportive.  When I have had moments of worrying if this was the right decision, thinking of our conversations gave me the reassurance I needed.  Thank you so much to Katherine, for everything.

So what exactly am I announcing?  I have changed my name … to Kate.  You see, whilst I kept this mostly private, I am transgender.  I have always been transgender: my earliest memory of knowing (although I obviously didn’t know the term back then) was from about three or four years old.  I kept it secret until I met Katherine in 2001.

I knew very quickly Katherine was the most amazing person I’d ever met and knew I wanted to spend my life with her.  So, a few months after meeting I told her my secret.  Katherine continued to prove her amazingness and was not worried by this.  Then in January this year she let me know she was happy with me coming out publicly.

It has been six months of thinking, planning, discussing and I’ll admit, a bit of worrying thrown in too.  Oh… and some shopping… there has been shopping!!  And so, at the age of 37 I am pleased to be able to say, “Hi… I’m Kate”.

From today I will be dressing full time in a more typically female style.  I’ve changed my name and will shortly update my Facebook profile (but I’ll leave it a while for everyone to have seen the message before thinking “Who is this Kate Hodge on my friend list??” !!

I’ve also made a website which has some information about me if you would like to know more, as well as some more photos.  The address is: http://kates.space.

I’d like to say thank you to all of you.  Some of you I told in advance and was able to get support from, but those of you I haven’t yet told, you have supported me without even knowing.  You have changed your profile pictures to have a rainbow pattern in support of tragic events, or you’ve liked a trans or LGBT supportive post, or you’ve just been you and shown me the world contains kind, loving people.  All of this helped me decide to come out.